the rule of three. Or four

So, I was lying in bed this morning listening to some music (Soen’s ‘Lykala’) and my mind was on tempo, then on to other bands, and then finally an old quote, which is the focus of today’s missive.Man_ Ivey:Like, maybe, never being conceived in the first place?(31 March 2019) Cori:Would you even consider dating someone who speaks [...]
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Gia:
My father's family I don't have this problem as we have always gone and been close to them and they have always included us.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
I spend much of my day obsessing on whether I will be rejected by them like when a kid and feel the suffering and loss again or if I am 1st rate and worthy of being in her family.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
My siblings are never invited so I know they are 2nd rate but they seem to invite me about half the time.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
How do I know if I am 1st rate or 2nd rate in her family?
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
When they do I am ecstatic and full of joy cause I may have moved up to 1st rate cause I reach out and host a party every summer.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
When they don't I am devastated and ashamed.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
Sometimes my mother's family still includes us in celebrations like last Christmas but other times they do not.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
So now as an adult my mother has died though my father is still living.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
You likely remember my story as I have written before on here.
(29 March 2019)

Gia:
She was bitter towards her father cause he had alcoholism and thus she banned me for 7 years from being in the family.
(29 March 2019)